It can be difficult to leave your child for the day, particularly if you are dropping them to a childminder or childcare service. Children can sometimes be reluctant or resistant to go and this leads to fears and concerns in parents that the setting is not suitable or that their child does not enjoy being there. When we collect our children or return home our first question can often be ‘How was your day today?’ ‘Was everything ok in creche today after I left?’ ‘Did you enjoy yourself?’
The answers to our questions can sometimes be alarming, for example ‘ Another child pushed me and took my toy’ ‘I was crying all day for you’ ‘I was bored’ ‘I didn’t eat anything’ etc. These types of answers can spur more concerns and parental guilt about leaving your child.
For children who are non-verbal or pre-verbal, it can be more challenging again to ascertain how their day was and if they are happy and settled in their setting.
Here are some suggestions that we offer our Penguin clients on how they can navigate these challenges to build strong, confident relationships with their childcare providers, ultimately improving the children’s sense of well-being in the setting, while allowing us to clearly identify where there is genuine cause for concern.
It really all begins and ends with the Handover. A handover is a brief chat you should be having daily with your child’s primary carer. (If you don’t know who your child’s carer is each day contact Penguin today, as this indicates a more significant issue with your setting). Any quality childcare provider will be itching to tell you about all the wonderful activities and achievements of the day when you collect. If you’re making time for a handover but not getting positive vibes from your child’s carer, please contact Penguin today for an appointment and we will support you to get the relationship back on track.
These are the things you are looking to hear about in the handover:
(i) Overall was the day positive or negative for your child? If you left your child upset or crying, how long did it take them to settle into the day? Remember, not every day has to be a great day for our kids! They will have ups and downs in their day just like you do in yours
(ii) Were there any notable incidents and is there any relevant paperwork for you to sign off? These will include behavior incidents, medication administered, accidents, or even just a squabble with another child
(iii) What was the part of the day your child enjoyed most? This should give you an idea of what kinds of activities happened in the setting that day and give you a good starting point to open a positive conversation with your kids later on (see Episode 2 tomorrow for ‘Framing a positive question’
(iv) Finally were their needs met today? Did they eat nutritious meals? Did they drink water? Was there a nap time? How many nappy changes etc.
Some handover red flags! If you are hearing any of the below it is time to contact Penguin today to discuss how to build up that supportive relationship with your carer:
- NO clear key worker or primary carer for your child
- Phrases like ‘all good today’. Nothing specific about your child and how they got on
- Very negative feedback about your child. A handover is not the time for a carer to offload on how challenging their day has been. An appointment should be made in private without children present if there are issues to be discussed.
- Unsolicited information about other children and families. All families are entitled to privacy and the details of each child’s care are personal to each family. Names, details, etc should not be shared
